Skin Deco

Monday, May 25, 2009

How NOT to Do Your Make Up - The Asian Edition

Few weeks back I went to Malaysia's longest night market in Taman Connaught. Despite being very much distracted by the Uncle Bob Fried Chicken, coconut water, Tako Tao, and smelly tofu, I couldn't help noticing all the fake-looking false lashes flashing around me. Perhaps it was the shine from the plastic lashes. That night in less than 2 hours, I counted not five, not ten but TWENTY pairs of plastic lashes unconciously. If I was seriously counting, fifty would not have been surprising. Matching the fake lashes were utterly bad makeup that should never ever be seen out, what more in a night market.

This video should give you an idea on what I'm talking about.

Read on for more talk on bad makeup and their fixes.

  1. Way too white foundation: It's alright to wanna look fairer but let your skin care take care of that! A foundation that's one shade lighter than your skin tone should be the maximum that you'll be able to get away with.
  2. Unblended foundation: You don't wanna show the world that you're wearing a mask of foundation so make sure to blend it down your neck.
  3. Powder Foundation over foundation: You most definitely can do this but be very careful because piling on the coverage may cause your base to look really cakey. Opt for a full-coverage foundation and set with translucent powder so that the coverage looks more natural.
  4. Over-concealing: Too much can lead to bad caking! Slowly layer on your concealer instead.
  5. Over-highlighting: Try not to highlight your entire face or you'd look like a walking disco ball. Concentrate on one or two features and use a subtle highlight so that it'll appear more natural.
  6. Unblended contouring: You're not fooling anyone if your don't blend those harsh lines! Gradually add color and blend well.
  7. Hot pink blush: If you're wearing such a strong pink, tone it down, please!
  8. Extreme black line: Putting black eyeliner all over your eyes doesn't equal to smokey eyes. I have loads of tutorials on smokey eyes so do check them out.
  9. Silver highlight: If you have heavy lids, try not to make your highlight color stand out too much or your eyes may look swollen.
  10. GLITTER!!!: Use them in the right places and at the right time.
  11. Harsh brows: Don't just draw on your brows and call it a day. Use feathering strokes with your pencil. You can also try drawing an outline using templates and fill in the brows with eyebrow powder.
  12. Dramatic lashes: Thick lashes will just make your eyes look heavy. Try natural lashes instead to really open up the eyes. Oh, and let the glue become tacky before you stick on the lashes.
  13. Drippy glossy lips: Ew.... just ew... You don't need me to explain this


chaborkia said...

the essences of a lala:

- silver glitter at the eye's inner corner
- dark big fat patch of eyeliner
- smudged at the bottom? nevermind!
- falsies with glitter
- take picture from high angle
- open your eye BIG BIG.
- pray for more visits in Friendster account.

LOL i love your parody!

K.S. said...

omg!! you "did" it! haha.

Anonymous said...

this is so true in SE asian countries!!
very heavy, cakey and very white foundation
harsh lines (eyeshadow and blush)
very bright blush colour

usually in UK, i see most girls with cakey foundation and clumpy mascara

i just discovered your blog, very informative. besides we have the same skin tone n skin problem like i have eczema on my face.

naeus! said...

hahahahha you're so sporting! really enjoying this post =p

plue said...

lol! siyo, not only cheras, u get this in sg wang and all over times square area. a real sore in the eye.

oh i forgot, i think i saw this aplenty in sunway and occasionally in midvalley too. blergh.

i don't understand ppl why wear such crazy makeup in such hot and humid place like pasar malam?

Jessie said...

OMG... I am LOLing away for the whole 4 minutes, especially when your lashes "flutter off" haha!

Askmewhats said...

you still look cute! hahah it is super funny but how come you still look cute doing all those?

Traclyn Yeoh said...

I actually saw this in youtube first. I was laughing all the way, especially when the falsies are falling off!

Mostly the lalas (ah bengs nowadays too) apply makeup like no tomorrow. Everytime I saw them I was trying not to be judgemental really hard, but it's difficult.

I agree with Plue. I stay like 5 minutes from Times Square and I know how it felt like to see them around. Now on weekends even some mat rempits are around!Horrible.

I felt it when you say about the big eyes because personally I did on Kawaii Manga Tutorial. Ouch! but it's alright because I enjoyed your video.

Jenn said...

Hahahahaha!! XD I love the V sign you did after the Kawaii Blush!! XD XD

Kahani said...

LOL so funny dear! And well said. *rah rah*

Thing is i'm not sure you've convinced anyone as despite the awful makeup you STILL look great. How can ah? =P

晶晶 said...

lol i think u should've have used some glitter nail polish to get the "friendster" look =D

LyNn said...

you know what i hate most about this?
is the fact that these people apply so much make up in such a wrong way
giving guys the wrong impression that make up is always OTT if its not nude type.
try a nice eyeshadow with contrasting colours such as green and yellow.
they will associate you to THESE PEOPLE and say that you are just toning it down for the day!

Marie. said...

You made this look super cute LOL.

Shuu said...

omigosh Connie, you just de-stressed me! LOL. I am laughing hard when I watch your video.
Yeah, it is true though some people wear super heavy makeup nearby those mentioned area. geez, don't they feel cakey at this kind of melting temperature? o0

miss wiggle said...

OOH NO! but that's the way i do my makeup connie!!!! what should i dooooooooooo??!!!! xD xD

i do think you look cute in the last photo though haha~

fuzkittie said...

LOL!!!!!! I absolutely loved this! Too adorable, even if it's all wrong.. ahahahaha. <3

K.S. said...

after watching these. I accidentally found a real video doing that kind of make up! haha. not as bad as your parody but it reminds me of the "if-i-take-picture-from-a-high-angle-my-eyes-will-look-very-big" girls. (at least she knows that it's better to put on eyelashes when the glue is tacky) (part1) (part2)

it's from the same person btw. and during the beginning of 1st part there will 1 minute long of her camwhore pictures. the tutorial is after the picture slideshow. :)

makeupmag said...

LOL! So true. A friend and I were just talking about overly-dramatic falsies + coloured lenses on some sweet young things we've been seeing here. Sometimes the two produce a very frightening effect. :P

e.motion in motion said...

lololol I still think you look hello good xD

B said...

Another reason to love you! It takes a brave lady to do a "What not to do" video. I think I need to do the same for Black women. First NOT wear black eyeliner on the lips. Dude, you rock!!

Tine said...

I had such a laugh watching the video! You rock indeed :D

But seriously though, that eyeliner thing, I see that so much on Asian women over here, especially those with small eyes. For some reason, they think that piling on that black eyeliner like you did would open up their eyes. I just think it makes them look weird.

More! More! :D

Hayley said...

its so funny watching ur video!!! :D
eh, but using eye liner as 'eye shadow' is not a bad idea wert :p
but true enough, i saw alot of la la mui going pasar malam by wearing hot tight short pants, sexy top, match with that heavy make up which doesnt tag along with the clothes!! just wonder why..
sorry, not intend to offend anyone!

Agnes said...

omg!! this reminds me of a girl i saw in the internet!!! she did EVERYTHING you did. all that glitters. not forgetting the pile of glitters she put on her eyelids. some what resembles craft glitters stuck on eyes and very bright neon colours all around it hahahahah!!!

somewhat i think this kinda looks like xiaxue's make up =x...

Paris B said...

LOL... I can't get the image of Babs bunny from Tiny Toons out of my mind for the last pic :D Well done - I enjoyed this :)

fashionistaz said...

u crack me up.. kudos to this video! everyone should use yr tips. HOW NOT TO! :)

beetrice said...

OMG...I just burst out laughing when I read the title..all that's missing is the big pouffy ponytails on either side of the head...*ROFLOL*...but on the flipside, you still look better than the pasar malam girls! :D

prettybeautiful said...

omg this is so so so funny! plenty of makeup (seafood) like this in sg wang. they are ALL OVER the place. and yr lashes!! HAHAHAHAA. omg my falsies...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Eli said...

I thought I was going to die laughing! Thanks for this.

I was in NZ when the M'sian MA we were talking proudly pointed out her daughter, who was working at another counter, to us. The girl was Kiwi born and bred but somehow had the thick puteh makeup of a Sungei Wang lala.

Sis and I simultaneously said out loud: "Must run in the genes."

KayKamaL said...

haha..brutally true but still truthfully cute..anything w u in it oso cute la..huu~

Sue said...

haha! Such a nice sharing lah! :D :D

pinkyping said...

hahahhaha this is one awesome post man!

P-ham said...

i love this! hilarious^_^

Mel said...

LOL! I loved this video! And the music is so cute, it really suits the whole "Let's put more glitter one cos it's super cute!" mood of the video. Great job Connie!! I'm definitely embedding this vid in my blog to share :P

Anonymous said...

really agree with this! your post just made my day :D btw i went to the night market every wednesday leh (cos i'm staying there). imo they are trying to achieve the 'kawaii' japanese girl look but their ghostly white foundation and those dark, dramatic eyes gave me the impression of the boy from ju-on leh. wonder why they want to put on so much makeup just to walk at the night market? it's super crowded and heaty lor..

PS: u still look cute despite the 'overly done' makeup. cheers!!

aYu LaLaLa said...

Ur nude lips still make sense. what i saw especially in malay girl with dark skin is bright eyeshadow like pink/purple and than matching bright pink blush and again, matching pink lips. very funny..

aichaku-愛着 said...

lol!!! this is such a fun post. :D

i think this is the type of makeup that peeps use so often here in asia (i'm in singapore) that's why these same people always tell me i look like i don't wear any makeup! LOL!

jennifer T said...

hahahha,lovely video u make me luff......hahahha.....luff sumore >_<"" OMG this is good video .

jennifer T

ooh faraaaaa said...

"apa yang tak kena Asean makeup"
yeah,typical here too in Kuching.hahhaa

HaNNa_HuLLaBaLoo said...

I may be late to say this, but THANK YOU Connie, for being bold enough (yet in a cute, funny way) to tell those girls out there that being white is not always beautiful. I mean, if u're naturally fair, well lucky you. But if you're tanned, kelabu asap, heck even if u're dark-toned like me, you shud embrace what u have by enhancing your natural beauty, NOT try to change it completely using cheap foundation & face powders that are WHITE in colour. (*cough2*, some of those Malay girls.*cough*)

dila said...

haha lol ur sooo right about your last picture. Taking picture from a high angle and with a peace hanging by the side and presenting a pout of very frosty pink lipgloss. NOT SEXY. I just don't know why they love frosty pink lipglossy gloss so much. And the overly applied cakey too-white foundation with a way-too-pink blusher swept on each cheek is all the 'rage' right now =.=

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